Last week, I had the pleasure of sitting down (virtually that is) with the man, the legend, Rumorator von Rumorstein. Often called the “It, Man of Snowboarding” or “that piece of shit blogger,” I was honored to spend some time picking his brain. This is straight unfiltered snowboard blogging brought to you from the mean streets of wherever he lives.
Tune in as we chatted about snowboarding trends like reverse camber, the Olympics, mainstream media, 2011 trends and Lindsay Lohan. Be warned, the following interview reads like a Entertainment Weekly segment with Mario Lopes tweaking on Meth.
Hoon: let’s rock this.
Hoon: Ok let’s get the easy stuff out of the way. Name. Kit. Snowboard Gear. Favorite Fruit.
Rumorator: Rumorator von Rumorstein
Kit: AK Cyclic Pants and Volcom Iceman or AK Turbine Jacket. I also wear gloves and Salomon Dialogue boots. Board: Hero 155 or uninc 160 Bindings: Unincs from last year. Favorite Fruit: The Pear. D’anjou pear
Hoon: So let’s jump in. You’re somewhat of a living legend on the interwebs. Columnist on yobeat!, followed by millions on Twitter. on speed dial with Lady Gaga. How does one reach that magnitude?
Rumorator: Well it helps that I have really nothing else to do. I mean I sit around and come up with obnoxious things to write about on a blog. You do it long enough and it’s going to catch on. Yobeat! was rad that’s because Brooke hit me up on Twitter, and said I was funny. Probably one of the better compliments I’ve gotten in my life. So now I write words for Yobeat!
Hoon: Does it upset you that while we’re conducting this interview, I’m also reading a Mommy blog?
Rumorator: Kind of, but I know you got a kid. Really I would expect something like this because no one really pays attention to blogs anyway. I mean you don’t really have to concentrate on ’em. Especially mommy blogs.
Hoon: So I was going to interview that Hire Matt Lei kid, but we picked you instead. Can you give me your ASSessment on his whole “try to be hired by Burton” thing? You can’t go to the NBA with a granny shot, right?
Rumorator: Shit, that was a mess. I mean good for him for just going at it. But, if you’re going to do it make sure your game is tight. That’s a rule I follow, and also the reason I don’t do much. My game isn’t tight at all. I’ve just got like an a “comfortably snug” game.
Hoon: And what about all this crazy EXTRERUMORATOR danger hype from the Kevin Pearce (Vibez) accident?
Rumorator: KP.He’s gonna be alright. As for the hype around it all? It’s stupid. Everyone who puts on a snowboard runs the risk of being that one in a million that get clipped. Whether it be in the pipe, on a hand rail, or just taking lessons. Like that (Natasha) Richardson, that actress who passed away this past year. We take this risk. As for what all the outside people are saying, screw them. You cannot stop progress.
Hoon: Do you think if she was wearing a Giro, she would have been ok?
Rumorator: You dirty product placer.
Hoon: Gotta keep the lights on. What would you expect? PS – Pour out a lil liquor
Rumorator: No. She was unfortunate. Helmet or not, no matter what brand everything just came together and the result was unfortunate.
Hoon: Did you also happen to watch the Today Show segrnent on SBX? Natalie Morales. Hot or Not?
Rumorator: Let me look this up. Natalie Morales Looks like a young Maria Shriver. Kind of… I’m holding out for that South African broad on 60 Minutes.
Hoon: Changing the subject back to shred. What’s your take on this crazy reverse camber craze that’s swept the nation?
Rumorator: Hmm. I dump on rocker a lot. But most of my experience comes from Burton’s V-rocker. And honestly, I think it’s sloppy. It work great from boxes and rails, but you can’t rely on it off a larger jump. Now, I know someone will say I shouldn’t be relying on my board to land jumps, but eff them. The v rocker is not my style off the jumps. That said… I recently got to ride a top secret 2011 deck with a different reverse camber set up. It was way more stable, and I really enjoyed it. seems a 100 times better than the V-rocker. Same with Capita’s Flat Kick. People seem to love the rocker that starts outside of the bindings.
Hoon: Would you be talking about a Easy Livin Flying V 2011
Rumorator: Camber is good too though. Favorite board of all time is my uninc 2008. Can’t say (about the 2011), but I can tell you it was really steady, Really Stead, mann. You see that? That was code like the Black Panthers used to put in to jazz songs.
Hoon: Nice. Good call. Ok, speed round time. Here’s how it works. We’re trying something new here. I’m going to give you two options. You need to tell me who would win in a fight. and very quickly in one line why. Got it?
Hoon: Facebook vs Twitter
Rumorator: Twitter. on the spot!
Hoon: Roger Moore James Bond vs Daniel Craig James Bond
Hoon: Freeskiing vs Mogul Skiing vs Ballet Skiing
Rumorator: Whoa, ski ballet, no misnomer there.
Hoon: The Hangover vs. Bachelor Party
Rumorator: The Hangover, but it was lacking the weiner in the bun scene.
Hoon: Hannah Montana vs Hilary Duff vs Lindsay Lohan
Rumorator: Lohan. You could trade your VCR to her for a handy at this point.
Hoon: Vrocker vs Flat Kick vs 1985 vs Banana vs Camber
Rumorator: Cambered. Never rode Banana or 1985
Hoon: Nico Muller vs Gigi Ruff
Rumorator: Tough call… Gigi
Hoon: Olympic mud wrestling: Torah Bright vs Gretchen Bleiler
3:35 PM Rumorator: GB, Because TB would never shed her Mormon baselayers.
Hoon: Online shops vs Core brick and mortar
Rumorator: Support your local shops. Spend locally and the money will come back to you.
Hoon: Eva vs. Lisa vs. Suze vs. Caitlin (BMBers)
Rumorator: HA! Where the fuck is this interview going? RockChick. Sticking with Lisa, she’s a scrapper.
Danny Davis vs. Jeff Brushie with dreads
Rumorator: Brush is old. (whoa) Last time i saw him he was wearing adidas.
Hoon: Alright I lied. A couple of last minute questions from the peanut gallery. If Lance Armstrong decided to take up half-pipe riding, would he win the Vancouver Olympics? And what would his nickname be?
Rumorator: Lance couldn’t get the Amplitude! He would probably still win, cause it’s all fixxxed. I’d call him Chaz Guldemond. Seems like a good jock name.
Hoon: Nice. Finally, any last words and shout outs? Words of wisdom?
Rumorator: It’s just living. Have fun. And be sure to check out rumorator.com, Ridersjournal.com, Yobeat.com and MODA3.com. PLUG LIST!
Hoon: Dang. Packed ’em all in. Word well thanks for playing along with us.