Somebody Please Rewrite these 80’s Crap Movies

Serious brain drain going on over here on the beast coast. work, family, rain, back issues – all of it is hitting at the same time. So instead of slacking off on the SOTN blarg here I figured it’d be best to turn to my peers for inspiration. Thank god Brooke Geery came through. Now, a quick history lesson for all of you born in 1987, Back then we were in the pinnacle of crappy Hollywood meets action sports debacles. This was when Hollywood figured “hey the kids like themselves some skiing, surfing, skateboarding good times. Lets make a movie!” No lie these were typically light on plot and heavy on … well not much else. There was …


Gleaming the Cube

Bust more importantly there was North Shore a movie about a kid from an Arizona wave pool who travels to the North Shore and experiences the life. It’s high on cliches and unintentional comedy. I mean seriously whoever thought up this plot (or didn’t think) had to basically know where the studios execs hid the bodies. Only explanation how this movie got made but then again everything was silly in those days. Plus, you get to see Occy and Young Laird Hamilton act – epic. Again, not really.

So when YoBeat posted up some kid at an indoor slope in the UK jibbin his hearts content

Well, this got me thinking: “Somebody should rewrite North Shore but with a British kid who rides a dry slope/indoor slope going to some epic US mountain town” – think Jackson Hole. You could have Travis Rice play out the Laird Hamilton role, Bryan Iguchi could play the Chandler character and Willie McMillion could be Turtle and Mark Carter could be Vince. OK, done now one of you slack ass writers out there in the industry get on this.

You all have laptops and we all have a long season ahead. So get crackin’ You know coming off this money milkin Olympic year some dummy with too much money will want to make a movie about snowboarding. This script writes itself. Hell, you used to be able to watch North Shore on Hulu. Maybe you can rewrite scene for scene … get crackin! Somebody will do it – might as well be you! Think about it, they are remaking the Karate Kid, Footloose … why not get in on the ground floor. So in the world of the Governator “Do it! Do it now!”

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