Dear PR Flack,
I know you are busy. Strike that, I know your are wicked busy. Wait, even better I know you are wicked pissah busy! But, lets discuss the pitches your brethren are sending my way. One would assume that in today’s webtastic world of “Web 2.73” you would take the opportunity to provide a little context as to why you are contacting me or some relevancy of how your “OHMYGAWDTHISNEWWEBSITSOCIALNETWORKCONTESTFLUFFERMANUALISOAWESOMEYOURREADERSAREGONNALURVSIT” pitch will provide actual value to people who check out South of the North. So far this week I’ve received several pitches that had as much impact as farting in the wind. Lets review shall we?
First up the beer promotion!
Thought you might be interested in hearing about Brewery’s new promotion . It’s a 5-day all expense paid trip for you and three lucky friends to Name removed that includes backcountry cat skiing, lift tickets, technical gear, a custom snowboard, etc. Great beer and deep snow- sounds like a wonderful winter adventure to me!
More info is attached. Good luck!!
Fuck Yeah it sounds like a wonderful winter adventure! Hell yeah bro! I like beer, no wait, I like backcountry skiing and snowboarding, no wait I like technical gear!!! Wait – are you asking me to enter or to promote? I had so many things I like put in front of me I’m not sure what the call to action here is… other than to hit the delete button.
I wasn’t going to post anything but damn if this wasn;t to good to keep to myself. the best part others confirmed the same gaff. Nothing says total fuck up like sending out a form letter and not removing the generic pieces. Like this:
What’s going on? My name is XXX and I’m working with (Note I pulled this out -I’m a jerk but not that much of a jerk) More blah blah blah We built a website to show the project to the public, and it’s live now at (Again, I pulled this out -I’m a jerk but not that much of a jerk) We hope your readers would be interested in this content. If you think it’s something they would like to see, it’d be awesome if you could post a link and let your readers know about it. If you don’t feel this is a good fit, don’t worry about it and thanks for your time. Whenever we have new updates to the site (blah) I’ll be sure to keep you posted. Check out the site and let me know what you think!
The letter actually would have been perfect but the sender left XXX where their name was supposed to go. Way to make me feel special and like I am getting the big scoop. Yeah, I feel like client #10 at the Emperors VIP Club. Ew, so my replay was simple enough:
Man – Alec Baldwin almost won an Oscar for that