Lost in Translation: the Hidden Meaning in a Press Release

Ah, yeah I typically don’t repost press releases so I can avoid the fate of being called out by a Sasquatch from the great Northwest. But, since I am just returning from Utah and since I have an opportunity to provide additional thought here…. why not. I present to you:

Lost in Translation: the Hidden Meaning in a Press Release Volume 1!

Seven Springs Mountain Resort Hosts Monster Energy’s Homecoming, Kristi Leskinen’s Invitational Ski and Snowboard Event

(Translation: She rips, she lived here briefly and did we mention she’s kinda hot? Yeah, we’ll promote the crap out of this these Steelers fans haven’t seen a chick like this since she left.)

Seven Springs Mountain Resort is pleased to present Kristi Leskinen’s invitational ski and snowboard event, Monster Energy’s Homecoming, March 13 – 15, 2009.

(The economy blows. Please come your spend at our mountain. Instead of discounted tickets or other recession beaters we’ll throw a hot skier/model at you.)

Leskinen, a pioneer in women’s freeskiing and native of Uniontown, Pa., took home a bronze medal at the Winter X Games IX in the Women’s Superpipe. Her career highlights also include: second place Slopestyle at the 2009 Aspen Open, second place Slopestyle at the 2008 North American Open, third place Slopestyle at the 2007 US and Japan Opens, first place Halfpipe in the 2005 Gravity Games, second place Halfpipe in the 2005 World Championships and in 1999 she was the first female to compete in the US Open.

(Face it you knucklehead Kristi skis better than you play guitar hero. Quit being a sad sack of suck, get your ass of the couch, quit arguing on the internet the right way to do shred tricks you can’t land and go to 7 Springs. BTW, did we mention she’s appeared in FHM?)

“After traveling around the world to international competitions for the past 10 years, I’m thrilled to bring this contest to the resort where I grew up,” said Leskinen, “We have an amazing group of athletes coming and Seven Springs is pulling out all the stops to make this event a huge success.”

(“I’m going to kick my agents ass. South Western, PA What the fuck?” )

Top female skiers and snowboarders, including three-time Winter X Games gold medalist skier Sarah Burke; Tara Dakides, four-time Winter X Games gold medalist and two-time silver medalist; and Hana Beaman, three-time Winter X Games silver medalist, will join Leskinen at Seven Springs for the all-girls ski and snowboard slopestyle event and rail jam. The contest will be an opportunity for the girls to push themselves, progress the sport and raise awareness and interest in the sport among young girls and women.

(You know Tara the snowboarder who landed on her head in front of the Letterman cameras? Also she and Burke posed in FHMish, Maxim-ish mag. As for Beamen hey she slays it for Ride and has a bunch of awards.)

Snow Park Technologies (SPT) will make a stop at Seven Springs on its way to the Burton US Open to build the course for the first annual event. The course will be created specifically for the purpose of showcasing the girls’ abilities and the sport. The event will be a rider-judged jam format encouraging the girls to go for their biggest tricks. The prize purse for the ski and snowboard contests will be $20,000.

(OK, we had to surrender the job away from our regular park monkeys and hand it over to brand name builders. Apparently these guys crap perfect transitions and burp away icy landings. Have they ever been to Pennsylvania in March!?!?!? Oh yeah, rider judged means those pros will make a few calls and then peace out before handing off $20,000)

There will be many opportunities for spectators to interact with the athletes, including clinics, autograph sessions and more. Steelers Super Bowl Champion Chris Hoke will also be on-hand for autograph sessions.

(Bring your Terrible Towel because if you have zippy interest in snowboarding we have a Steeler for you!)

Practice sessions begin Fri., March 13 at 10 a.m. and will continue throughout the day. The first rounds of the competition will be at 12 p.m. and 1:15 p.m. with finals held at 2:45 p.m., Sat., March 14. On Sun., March 15, kids ages 10 – 16 will have the opportunity to ride with the pros from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. Limited space is available for this event. Registration will be held in The Yurt from 8 – 9:30 a.m. An amateur rail jam will be held from 1 – 2 p.m. and a pro rail jam will follow at 2:30 p.m. For more information on Monster Energy’s Homecoming and a complete calendar of events, please click here.

(We’re not quite sure where the money is being handed out but here are bunch of days and times)

Event sponsors include Willi’s Ski & Board Shop, Rome Snowboards and Oakley. Freeskier Magazine is the event’s media partner.

(Blah, Rome Snowboards, blah)

Monster Energy’s Homecoming will be working with the Women’s Sports Foundation to promote healthy, active lifestyles for women and girls, and any proceeds from Sunday’s Ride with a pro session will be contributed to the organization.

“The Women’s Sports Foundation is excited by new events that give women’s sports greater visibility and give girls additional opportunities to play and become active,” said Women’s Sports Foundation CEO Karen Durkin. “In creating this event, Kristi Leskinen is not only expanding her own sport, but has once again demonstrated that she is a wonderful role model for girls and a great ambassador for women’s sports.”

(We couldn’t agree more …)

One thought on “Lost in Translation: the Hidden Meaning in a Press Release

  1. i’d like to see a mud wrestling match btwn sarah burke and gretchen bleiler… on a side note, did you ever see the “Women of Freeskiing” article done by Freeze or was it Freeskier back in the day. DANG! hot tubs, bikinis… who says skier butt is a problem?

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