Jamie Thomas Announces New Inline Skating Brand

Jamie Thomas Announces New Brand Under Black Box Distribution
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Late Friday afternoon, Jamie Thomas shocked the skateboarding world by announcing that he was adding another company to his already heavily stacked list of brands operating under his Black Box Distribution. However, it wasn’t the fact that he was starting a new company that was shocking, rather the nature of the brand that shocked attendees at the press release.

“It’s an inline skate company” Thomas revealed. “I know that the worlds of skateboarding and inline skating have been at each other’s throats for a very long time. However, I think that this is a vast, untapped area of the action sports industry that needs proper representation. So without further ado, I proudly introduce Genesis Inline.”

However, what was even more shocking to the crowd in attendance was Jamie’s announcement that not only was he starting an inline skate company, but also that he would be retiring from skateboarding to be the very first pro for Genesis Inline.

“I just feel that I’ve gone as far as I can with skateboarding. I mean, you can only lipslide so many twelve-stair rails, you know? With inline skating, I feel that there is a huge potential for me to go bigger with both gaps and rails now that I will have the wheels attached to my feet, and don’t have to worry about the board getting away on me.” Thomas assured everyone that we could still look forward to seeing him skate in his usual “Go big or go home” style.

“I’ve recently jumped the biggest double set I’ve ever done. I feel like I am really helping to advance the sport.”

“I’ve even gone back to conquer the Leap Of Faith, but once again couldn’t pull it together.”

“But one day I know, by the grace of God, I’ll conquer it.”

Thomas went on to talk about his pro model skate The Messiah, and gave everyone there a sneak preview on what it would look like.

Thomas then went on to announce the team. “This is very exciting for both skateboarding AND inline skating…” he stated. “We really are combining the best of both worlds, bringing over established skateboard pros such as Josh Kasper and Chad Fernandez to our inline team, but also we have on board some of the most revolutionary inline skaters today such as Chris Farmer. I mean have you seen that kinked rail he did? Pure insanity.”

When asked what his inspiration was for starting an inline skate company, Thomas responded: “Well like I said, it’s just a huge, untapped market. It seems that the majority of of inline skaters, and inline skate companies are really oriented towards a more “fresh” gangsta sort of style. This leaves a huge opportunity for more of a”hesh” representation. Also, I think it’s a really great opportunity that I can’t pass up to help spread the word of the Lord to a whole new group of kids. I just feel like Jesus has blessed me with so much, from sleeping on the streets in San Francisco to owning four successful companies.”

“Well, actually soon to be five I guess.” He added in afterwards with a slight chuckle.

…. And Happy April Fools Day
Another classic from the crew at You will Soon. The first time I looked at this I had the “confused dog look” on my face and after about 30 seconds I figured out the joke. Obviously Das Chief isn’t starting and Inline brand but have a good April Fools Day!

23 thoughts on “Jamie Thomas Announces New Inline Skating Brand

  1. That’s funny, were you doing 3 flips and back lips down handrails while you searched the internet, read the post, and then posted a comment on it from your Blackberry? No? Okay, well just go skate instead of posting comments no one gives a shit about.

  2. one day we all went to skate on highland avenue in national city. theres a pretty good group going, about twelve people and a few others meeting us at the wells fargo ledge. we get there and down the street at this weird kink rail theres a bunch of skateboarders trying to skate the kink(its in a few bbell vids. gene galang kindgrinds it). so we all watch them try this rail and we decide to go over there. we all go and could tell they werent just normal skateboarders cause they were hauling ass at this rail and eating shit yet still trying it. normal skateboarders would have given up. at first i was like im not gonna skate it but then this one dude starts talking shit. saying “fuck rollerbladers….this is my rail” so i go and front farv it and then he comes up to me and says “do you know who i am……ill fuck you up if you get in my way” at this point i was pissed and i wasnt gonna listen to this fucking douche and his bullshit. i went for the rail in front of him on purpose and he started flipping out and throwing his board all over the place and then they left. my friend vince comes up and says “that was jamie thomas” i said “so….i thought he was gonna fuck me up?” all sarcastic. then vince tells me that thomas liked the rail a lot and skated it quite often. instantly i got an idea. that night steven and mike(mikes car story) went with me to that rail and mike ripped it outta the ground like it was nothing(the rail was wobbly already so it didnt take much to pull it) we take it to stevens house and put it in the ground on the sidewalk out front.,a few weeks later a couple different people told me that jamie thomas wanted to kick my ass cause he knew i took the rail.jamie thomas is a cocksucker

  3. honestly…….grow the fuck up.you flip around a piece of wood with wheels and for some reason you come to think that what you do is more respectable than another person doing somthing similar.i see your still the same douche bag motherfucker you always were.

  4. Jamie Thomas is a fucking wannabe hipster faggot who has eaten more paste than Liberace.THPS FTW you fucking faggots.So hilarious and never done before…grow up, shave your faggot beard, and please hit your head and die trying to hardflip a 4 set you god damn waste of life.

  5. jamie thomas has never earned any love by the aggressive inline community and he most certainly never will. i hope his head gets bashed into his own skateboard, so that the world would be rid of another piece of shit skateboarder. i hope a rollerblader jumps his ass oneday with his own skateboard.

  6. jamie thomas has never earned any love by the aggressive inline community and he most certainly never will. i hope his head gets bashed into his own skateboard, so that the world would be rid of another piece of shit skateboarder. i hope a rollerblader jumps his ass oneday with his own skateboard.

  7. Wow i bet he pulled an all nighter thinking this one up. its just so damn clever. i mean honestly i think Jamie thomas needs to have his own stand up show on comedy central, for such a funny fucking guy. lets just ask who did the longest raila rollerbladerwho has landed the biggest gapsrollerbladerswho has done the longest grind on a ledgea rollerbladerwho can go higher out of a vert ramp then anyone elsea rollerbladerwho doesnt waste time to make fun of another sport that other people enjoy.rollerbladersto sum it up. maybe skateboarders should focus more on trying to do bigger shit, instead of being fucking comedians.fuck jamie thomas.Pussies get fuckedddddd

  8. you have wheels on your feet how hard is that, plus you all ook like wiggersm why dont you all go buy some heelies then you’ll be even cooler, fuck you all, skate or die, zero or die, jamie thomas is was better than all of you douches, eat a f’in butthole out

  9. stop talking crap jamie thomas so what he friggin has an inline shoe its what he likes everyone knows hes the best damn skater! If you dont think so your probably a poser.

  10. yea a rollerblader has grinded more shit dan boarders nd has done gaps, i bet ya bladers wouldnt even do a boardslide..wait,not even a frontside nose blunt.. lmao and wats dat shit wit spinning in the air with your skates? dats gay..no wonder bladers nd boarders dont get along..sk8 or die all day everyday

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