The Marauding Beaver & More Weird Sh*t for Friday

OK, you really can’t make this type of stuff up. So we’ve got some straggler news from across the week. If you see commentary in bold italics below well, that means we’ve got a something to say gosh darn it.. Sit back, relax and buckle up.

Ways to Work in Sports … and it’s not Blogging.
Over at and ripped from the pages of ESPN the magazine is feature called ‘These seven found a way to work in sports.’ Sure, you have the NASCAR artist and the “Cheer coordinator” but the coolest gig in my book is held by Chris Doyle Senior Product Development Specialist for Burton Snowboards. He’s the guy who cobbled together their speed zone lacing. While he isn’t making the crazy dollars like the cheer coordinator a nice gig in Burlington, free lift tickets and being at the forefront of snowboarding innovation all have to be pretty rewarding.

Ahhhh People Can Be Idiots
Seriously, I mean Really. I mean. Come ON! a Skateboarding rooster. It’s that slow a news day that you are covering a story on a skateboarding rooster. OK, here’s the deal the reporter, the news director…all should be docked one days pay for this. I can’t believe somebody actually did this. OK, you doubt me read all about the exploits of Tony Chickenhawk. While you read I’m going to pretend this never happened.

From USA Today More Weird Animal News
“Beavers are on the attack in central Sweden. A grandmother who was bathing with her daughter and grandchildren is the latest victim of the semi-aquatic rodents, according to Nerikes Allehanda. “
* Mental Note: never bath with Beavers and never try to wash your mongoose in Baltimore.

“The paper reports that a marauding beaver bit the woman and beat her with its tail before she was evacuated to a local hospital, according to AFP. One of the children was also attacked, the paper says. “
Can Beaver’s maraud? Isn’t that best reserved for Pirates, Vikings and Gaullish invaders of ye olden days of the ROman Empire. I think of the noble Beaver as just kind of being there.

“AFP reports this is the second time these animals have attacked humans along the Bottenån River. “
Um, stay clear of them? Listen up Kemosabe, if a big ass rodent bites you once when you get too close to it…odds are…it will happen again. It’s a f*cking giant swimming rat. Humans are a bit higher up on the food chain. I’m not pro-beaver except in a Playboy Mansion sort of way but you can’t be this dumb. I thought Swedes were the smarty-pants Scandinavians with their high cost but excellent living.

“Leif Linder, a park ranger, says the beavers are very territorial. He says they’ve shot four beavers and plan to blow up their lodge. “
“Wow, that escalated quickly”
-Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

“But if you’re in the water and see a beaver you should watch out. In the water they see you as their enemy and will attack,” Linder tells The Local.
Same thing happened to a guy in a Bar once…I have video proof…

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